


A Reply

by White_Noise



Series: The Casualty of War Series [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Civil War, Steve's Pov, Tony's reply to that Damn Letter, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 03:58:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7343872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/White_Noise/pseuds/White_Noise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I suppose you think it's funny that I chose to use a letter as my reply to your little peace offering. Tony Stark, man of the future, choosing this obsolete method to communicate when he has the world at his fingertips. I guess it is kind of odd, but the good thing about letters is they hide a lot of emotion.</p><p>After Tony's funeral, Steve receives a reply to his letter.</p><p>Sequel to 'Casualty of War' and 'Free Fall'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Reply

The hand written letter had come with the box, T’Challa handing it to Steve as the Soldier had arrived on the private airstrip to greet the King after his return from the US. 

Steve had felt oddly calm during the meeting. The month of tears and grief, raging at the injustice of Tony’s murder, at being unable to go home to say his goodbyes, and not being at Tony’s side when he died, had left the Soldier numb. 

T’Challa had looked as exhausted as Steve had felt as the man had stepped off the plane, the box tucked under one arm. Steve was not surprised. 

The King had only meant to be away for 3 days, to see the signing and return to his country. Instead, he had been forced to sit by Tony’s side as he bled out on the steps, provide a statement to police for the trial of Tony’s murderer. T’Challa had been the one to sit in that court room as the assassin claimed insanity, claimed that he had been told by Captain America to kill Tony Stark and claimed that he believed Tony had been a Hydra agent sent to destroy the world.

T’Challa had been the one in the court room when the judge had delivered his final verdict, agreeing that the man was insane and shouldn’t be punished.

Steve had been watching the trial. Like Tony’s death, the case had been broadcast live on TV. Steve had felt the horror, as the judge had let the man go to a mental hospital, the evil smile as the man was walked out of court. This was no justice for Tony. 

T’Challa had then stayed for Tony’s funeral. 

Unlike everything else, that had been a private affair, only close friends invited. Media had tried to get in, along with others who thought they had a claim to be there but Pepper had forced everyone back. There would be no state funeral for the fallen hero.

Steve had wished so hard he had been there with Pepper and Rhodey and Vision. But he knew he wouldn’t have been welcome. No matter how much he had loved Tony, only friends were invited. Steve had given up that friendship when he had driven the shield into Tony’s chest. When he hid in Wakanda like a coward while Tony was murdered in his name.

T’Challa had told him a little of what it was like during that month, carefully skirting around the issue as if he thought he could distress Steve even more by telling him how the man he loved had died alone on those steps and justice had failed. 

Then, the King had handed him the box. Apparently Tony had been planning to send it to Steve after the Accords were finalised, but he had never gotten the chance.

Steve had retreated with the box to Bucky’s lab, wanting some peace and quiet. Once settled in a seat, he had set the box aside and opened the letter. 

_  
Dear Steve,_

_I suppose you think it's funny that I chose to use a letter as my reply to yours. Tony Stark, man of the future, choosing this obsolete method to communicate when he has the world at his fingertips._

_I guess it is kind of odd, but the good thing about letters is they hide a lot of emotion, but not too much. I mean look at your letter. Your 'poor me' spiel. I could almost feel you yelling at me through the paper, and yet, it was so much more bearable then seeing your face._

_I can't say this through that cheap piece of plastic you sent. I can't have FRI take a recording either. Because if I did, I don't think I could stop myself from screaming. Or crying._

_Don't let the bastards see you cry Tony. Dear old dad told me that._

_I know you liked Howard. I know in some strange universe you were friends with a man like him. But how can you tell an eight year old that?_

_I can't forgive you for what you did Rogers. No more than I can forgive Barnes. Yes, I hated Howard but he was still my father. He didn't deserve Barnes trying to see how much force it took to punch through his skull._

_And my mom._

_Ok. She wasn't the greatest mother ever. She was always Howard's ornament first. But she tried._

_She didn't deserve to be slowly strangled by a blank faced assassin._

_That was torture Steve. For her and for me._

_I had always hoped they died quickly. The coroner assured me they did. Killed on impact. It was the only way I could sleep for so long after the crash, knowing that they didn’t suffer. But they did._

_I know you were trying to protect me._

_Despite what you think, I do actually have a fairly good idea of what goes on in that blond head of yours. I know you thought you were saving me pain. But Steve, you are talking about the guy that carried a nuke into a wormhole. The guy that flew under a floating city, knowing it was about to fall. A guy who was known as the 'Merchant of Death'. I am not a little boy. I could have handled it, had you given me the choice._

_Maybe if I had known beforehand, I would have had time to process it. Maybe I wouldn't have even gone to Siberia. There are so many maybes here but one thing I do know. I wouldn't have lost my head because the man I loved and trusted most betrayed me._

_I am not going to apologise for that. Yes, I lost my head. Not a good thing to do while heavily armed. But if you think that was an unreasonable reaction, well, you do not know people like I do._

_Maybe you don't._

_I tend to forget how innocent you are. You were only 25 when you went into the ice and you’ve only spent a few years out of it. Born into war but not born for it. A good soldier but also a good man. All those crappy quotes from those novels I used to read about you when I was a kid. Before I got to know the real you._

_Because you are innocent. I tried to protect that innocence and that is on me. You lived in a world of black and white. Axis vs. Allies. It was so much easier when it was good vs. bad. When it was America vs. Germany, vs. Japan, vs. Hydra._

_The politics of the world was a lot different when you came back from the ice. It was no longer good vs. evil. It was us vs. them._

_No one else seemed to think it bad that they continued to slap a flag on your chest and send you around the world to fight. But I've been to Afghanistan, I've seen the trouble that can cause. Hostile invasions lead to war, to death on both sides. Death of innocent people more often than not, despite our best intentions._

_You had no idea of the consequences because I tried so hard to keep them from you. From you all._

_It was me the victims would come to. Me who got the pictures of the dead, who visited the injured, who funded the rebuilding. Me who sorted through the hate mail and death threats._

_And then it got too much for me._

_You don't know what they were going to do to Wanda. They were going to charge her with war crimes! As a hydra agent! A SWAT team came to the compound to arrest her. I was so thankful you were all away from the compound when they arrived. I am not sure what would have happened if you had been there and I hadn't been able to send them away._

_Did you ever hear about Nuremburg? There was only one way that was going to go. And as you said, she was a kid we chose to put out in the field. I couldn’t let her be hanged on that._

_So I sided with Ross. I am not proud of it. Bruce is my friend after all. But the Accords could have been so much worse if I hadn't._

_And you know what? I am damn proud of what I manage to do with them._

_I know that you believe when the world tells you to move, you must plant yourself like a tree and tell the world no, you move. I heard that crap from Sharon, same as you. Did you even realise I was at Peggy's funeral that day?_

_She was my Godmother after all. I needed to say goodbye too._

_Saying no to the whole world. It's nice in theory but not practical._

_117 countries asked us not to go into their boarders without permission. It was never up to us to tell them they were wrong._

_I knew it was going to be hard, standing back and watching when we could have been helping. But believe it or not, people are reasonable. They may not like us but they know enough to know we mean to help. They would have let us in when they truly needed us._

_The UN was never going to be any worse than SHIELD._

_Did you know they already had a plan for Barnes? It had already been decided that you would be sent in, should he resurface. Not a squad of commandos, just you. To talk him down and bring him in peacefully. No one wanted him dead. They just wanted him out of circulation. Somewhere he could be assessed and treated without being a danger. Somewhere Hydra couldn't grab him again._

_But you went rogue and there was no other choice._

_I know you wanted to believe he was innocent of the bombings. But there was no evidence. And by the time there was, the shit storm had already started and none of us could stop it. Not all of us have your faith Rogers. Not all of us could live on the trust you had for a buddy you saw die 70 years ago._

_Zemo got us in the end. He took something we all thought was strong, our trust in each other, and broke it into a million pieces. And the whole world suffers for it._

_You said in your letter that the Avengers were mine now. No. The Avengers are gone._

_With everyone else hiding out with you, Vision is the only one left and it's not enough._

_I would say the Avengers are yours but that is wrong too. You see, the Avengers were never anyone's really. Not SHIELDs, not ours. The Avenges were an idea. If that idea belonged to anyone, it belonged to Phil Coulson and he never got to see it._

_God I miss Phil. Can’t help but wonder what he would have thought of all this. He probably wouldn’t have taken a side, just told us all to sit down and shut up._

_I miss him. I miss everyone really. Pepper won’t have a bar of me, you guys are all hiding out in oh so discrete Wakanda. It’s just me, Rhodey, Vision, FRIDAY and the SpiderKid whenever he decides to drop by._

_Don’t judge me for bringing him in on this. He’s a good kid and I would rather he had support doing what he’s doing then be on his own. We all know from experience that once you start this life, it is almost impossible to stop and I just want to give him the opportunity to survive._

_Well, I should wrap this up._

_No doubt you realised already that I am rambling and have stopped reading. If you ever chose to read it in the first place._

_Huh, look at that._

_My letter is almost 3 pages longer than yours. You would say it’s not a competition but it totally is._

_I am not happy with everything that happened but I cannot apologise for doing what I believed to be right, anymore then I can expect an apology from you._

_All I can ask is that you look after yourself and the others and maybe one day, this won’t hurt so much._

_Despite everything, know that I still love you._

_Tony Stark (It’s five letters Rogers! How the hell did you get that wrong?)_

_P.S. I know you are probably curious about the box that came with this letter. I will let you know, it’s not a damn flip phone. And if you haven’t already gotten overly curious and opened it already, well….._

_I was right when I said it didn’t belong to you. Although I had to do considerable research to find out who the owner was._

_Officially, it was first made by my dad as a contribution to the war effort. Dad actually struck a deal with T’Challa’s grandfather to get enough Vibranium for it. Technically, the SSR had the last say as to where it went and who used it, even if they left it with you most of the time. It was classified lost after you supposedly died and when they pulled you up, it was turned over to SHIELD, just like you._

_After SHIELD fell, it became property of the US Government. They didn’t want to part with it and I had to pay a lot to get it._

_Now I am turning it over to you. Officially, for the first time ever, it is truly yours. The receipt is in the box if you don’t believe me._

_I don’t really care what you do with it now. That is your choice. Bring back Captain America or let it rust in a cupboard in Wakanda. Just please don’t pawn it._

_Those guys always undervalue everything and you would never get what it is truly worth._

_Ok, rambling again._

_Stark Out._

 

Steve looked up from the letter at the half opened box.

Inside, he could see the carefully polished metal of his shield, rescued from Siberia where he had left it.

Someone, probably Tony, had buffered the scratches out, carefully repairing the paint work and cleaned off the blood, Tony’s blood. It was as clean as the day Howard had first handed it to him. 

A piece of paper had been taped to the metal, the receipt to prove that Tony had paid a lot of money for something that had almost killed him. 

Rising to his feet, Steve reached for the box and picked up the familiar weapon. It was exactly how he remembered.

....No, it wasn’t. 

Engraved in the inside, in handwriting Steve would recognise anywhere were the words “A Good Man.”

The shield slipped from Steve’s grip, landing on the floor with a thud, like it had when Steve had dropped it next to Tony’s injured body.

Steve’s knees gave out, the soldier hitting the ground. 

The scream tore through the silence, a scream of pain, rage and regret. 

The only witness to the soldier’s anguish, the sleeping assassin he had given everything for.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was supposed to be part 4 of this series, with a look into T'Challa's perspective as part 3 but it was becoming a pain to write the 3rd part and I have to go to work soon so I decided to finish up and post this instead of trying to fight writers block on the other one. 
> 
> It has been interesting reading the comments and seeing everyone's perspective. Some people defending Steve and others Tony and I love that my work is generating discussion like that. 
> 
> But I do feel I should state that this is all based on my feelings and my own perception of what happened in the movie. I know a lot of people have their own perception of what was going on and everyone is entitled to their thoughts. I am simply basing mine on my experience and feelings as a non-american, military and emergency services worker. Basically as one of those people who would be on the front line if the Avengers were required to step into my country.


End file.
